soo good

today was a pretty decent day. i realized that as much as i love my job, there will be days when i will not love it so much. today was one of those days.

i will admit that my day started out pretty well. i even got ready in time to walk to work today. i arrived on time and was even kinda excited at the fact that i was going sharing by myself today. confidently i walked up to my first person and that's when everything changed and my day started to go downhill.

i can honestly say that i don't remember being so bad at sharing. maybe it's cause i always have someone with me to save my bacon in the event i screw things up. but today i didn't and i found myself numerous times at a loss for words. and in situations that i have had answers for in the past.

if i look at this objectively, i can kinda see that maybe my experiences weren't that bad and that i just expected to dazzle people with my knowledge and ask them the hard questions that make them think and that one person would decide that Jesus actually is the only way, truth and life. amen sister! glory to.....me. realistically. i mean really did i want that person to come to Christ. sure. but what was my motivation. me. my selfishness. my glory. so that i could tell the staff team that yes, i know how to share my faith and i can bring people to Christ (sorry bout the Christianeze there).

what i really needed today was what i got. a reality check. no. a pride check. goodness how i despise those at times. but at the same time it's humbling and causes me to be that much more like Christ. so i can't really despise it all that much.

tomorrow's another day which can only mean that things can only get better.

Well here i go again. My second blog. i realized i am not very good at this. Probably because i tend to blog in my head. Yep, that's right, i talk to myself. A lot. And sometimes in public. It's kinda embarrassing when i realize that's what i am doing. Thoughts that i would be able to blog tend to just stick in my head. i write, er think of, stories i would blog, how cool i would sound (or wish i could sound). Crazy, i know. But in all fairness i had to start somewhere, right? And that somewhere just happened to be in my head. Go figure.

You may be wondering about the name? To be honest, i got that name from a thesaurus. Yep, i wanted a synonym for rambling. Cause ultimately, that's probably what i am going to be doing. Rambling. But in case you are wondering, here's the actual definition:

"to enlarge in discourse or writing; be copious in description or discussion"

Am i really going to be "enlarging in discourse or writing"? We shall see.

That's all for now. i must be off. Oh and for those of you that do know me, yes i know i didn't capitalize my "i". Think of it as me trying to be less of a perfectionist...as if that's even possible...